Run Baby, Run!

Three years ago I set out on a mission.
I wanted to lose 35 pounds for my wedding. I had never lost the entire 57 pounds I had gained while pregnant with R, and then I put on what my bestie and I lovingly refer to as the "happy fat" after I met Jay. The "happy fat" had made me very unhappy.
It took five months and a lot of hard work. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the support I got from Jay, my best friend/exercise partner, & my family.
I literally worked my butt off, but the hardest part was changing my mindset, and making the conscious effort to make time for MYSELF.

Top left = July 2008, Bottom left = Dec 2009,

Right = July 2010 (Our Wedding)

After M was born, I think it was a little easier for me to get the 60 pounds I gained off quickly, because I had already made this a lifestyle change when I lost the weight for the wedding. I knew what had to be done, so I did it.
I joined Weight Watchers on-line and got all the apps for my phone. For me, diet needs to go along with exercise or it doesn't work. Plus, let's be honest... I've got five kids to chase around.
I need my stamina!
So I walked, and did cardio classes a few times a week. It took 11 months for me to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I've been on maintenance for about 6 months now. At first I lost an extra 4 pounds, and now I fluctuate within a pound or two of that.
I feel good about myself, and I feel healthy. I can walk up and down the basement steps to do laundry without feeling winded! I can bounce on the trampoline with the boys and not be afraid I'm going to break it!

Top = Nov 2011 (Baby M, 10 days new), Bottom left = March 2012 (M's first Easter), Bottom right = Dec 2012 (Precinct Christmas Party)

So what's next?  I need a new hobby, a new goal... I thought about taking up crafting for a while about a nano-second, but let's get real. I couldn't craft my way out of a paper bag... so, where does that leave me?

I want to take up running.
I'm not sure I could run, even if my life depended on it.
I have NEVER run a mile in my life.
As a child, I was always the last one to finish the mile test in gym class because I always walked the entire thing (insert sad face here). I don't want to be like that chubby little girl that I was in elementary school anymore.
I am fit. I am strong. 
I can lift weights, and do an hour of hard core step aerobics four times a week.
I pushed a 9 pound 7 ounce baby out of my who-ha, for goodness sake - and then went back and did it again.
I can run!
There is no reason why I can't do this.  I just need to teach myself how.
I bought new sneakers, and some new workout clothes. I even downloaded the RunKeeper app for my phone.

Now I just have to take the plunge.

I haven't had a new year's resolution since I quit smoking five years ago, but this is my resolution for 2013.

I AM GOING TO TEACH MYSELF HOW TO RUN!!!

HELP?!?!?!

Is Two Days Enough?

There are many times I wonder if two days a week is enough to teach my step-kids so many things -manners, good hygiene, respect, the value of a dollar, what a normal relationship looks like... Are we doing enough in those two days to drive it home?

Today I need a little insight. A conversation that Jay and I had with B over the weekend is really weighing heavily on my mind. I try to avoid Jay's ex as a topic here, because my mother always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"; and I need to choose my words wisely in case my wonderful step-sons should ever come across this blog. However, I need to give you a little background on the situation in order for you to understand where I am coming from on this.

Jay and his ex-wife split 6 years ago next month. She was cheating on him with a colleague, and asked him to leave. He suspects the affair was going on for about 6 months before she finally told him. They lived separate lives under the same roof for about 4 months after that, until Jay finally moved out that June. The same weekend he moved out, the new boyfriend moved in. It's been a revolving door for much of the last 6 years. About 3 1/2 months after we told the boys we were pregnant with M, we got a phone call from B's teacher asking us if we were aware that his mom was also expecting. She and the current boyfriend had a baby boy a few months after M was born. This past December they finally got engaged.

This brings us to the conversation in question. The boys have yet to mention the engagement to us. We only know about it because she happened to mention it to Jay when he dropped the kids off one day last month. She said, "I don't know if the boys told you but...". This really got us thinking... They didn't tell us, but why not?

This weekend we were trying to iron out some scheduling conflicts. The happy couple is planning an engagement party, outside of her regular weekend of course, and that month we are jammed packed with things to do. Luckily, for once she is trying to be flexible, but it's still annoying. Anywho... Jay and I were discussing the plans, so we asked B if he knew about the engagement. He said yes, so I told him we were curious as to why they hadn't mentioned and he said "because we aren't too thrilled about it" :(
"It's more like a business relationship", he said. So, my response to him was - "I bet when daddy and I got engaged you weren't too thrilled, but now you're stuck with me & it's not so bad (chuckle, chuckle)". His response, "yeah, but I knew you were in love".

This breaks my heart! Don't get me wrong, I don't give a hot damn about her relationship in terms of her happiness, but I care about how it affects my boys.  How insightful is this 13 year old boy to know that something is amiss here? It bothers me that he can see through the BS and see that the decisions made there are mostly based on what is financially beneficial. It bothers me that they will be permanently linked to this man that they don't view as a parental figure in any way. From what they tell us, he does very little in the way of supporting them in their daily lives. It bothers me that they may grow up thinking it's better to be wealthy with riches than wealthy with love;  that they will think this is what normal looks like.

So this leads me to my question: Is 2 days enough time to teach them what a healthy, loving relationship looks like?  

Long Weekend Fun

This weekend was much needed for our family. After not seeing the boys for almost 3 weeks thanks to the snow, we couldn't wait to get our hands on them! Jay was still on vacation through the weekend, so we had 3 solid days together all 7 of us.
It really was a great weekend, in spite of the wicked cold I contracted from some nasty germs at school.

M & I spent most of the day time on Saturday resting (she's teething & I was Sneezy McSneeze),
while Jay had some much needed daddy/boy bonding time.
They did a lot of work cleaning out our playroom, and the boys helped out a little with our basement construction.

I am a real stickler for family meal time. On the weekends we always eat all 3 meals together as a family.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Since we don't have this time with Jay's boys during the week, I feel like it is even more important to make it happen on the weekends. Between second helpings and drink refills, I very rarely get to sit down and enjoy a meal,
but I wouldn't have it any other way.

So... much of Saturday was spent in the kitchen. Jay had already prepped the Crock Pot pot roast for Saturday night's dinner, and that was cooking away and filling the house with glorious smells. We had lunch together and then Jay, B and I started work on Sunday's dinner. We had Jay's parents over for dinner on Sunday, and Jay likes to show off when we cook for them, so baked stuffed shells were on the menu. Very delicious, but this involves a lot of "potschke-ing", as my bestie would say,

so we needed an extra set of hands in the kitchen. B was very happy to be our Sou Chef.  

He's actually very good. Maybe he'll go into culinary arts... who knows?

In the meantime we'll just enjoy having his talents in our kitchen.

We had a delicious and wonderful dinner with Jay's parents on Sunday. The kids LOVE seeing their grandparents! It doesn't matter if they come to us or we go to them, they just LOVE seeing them! There was lots of snuggling with grandma and horseplay with grandpa. It really warms my heart to watch them together. Some of my greatest childhood memories involve my grandparents,
so it really thrills me to know my children have the same opportunity to make wonderful memories with theirs.

We watched a couple of movies and played lots of Kinect Sports & Rock Band. We charged a lot of iPods. Monday the men went for haircuts. We did a little shopping. It really was uneventful in every sense of the word, but SO fulfilling at the same time.
I know I am about to sound very sappy and cliche,

but there is truly nothing better than good quality time spent with those you love.

The only down side to our weekend...
This is what Baby M looks like when it's time to take her brothers back to their mom's house :(


Anyone do anything exciting with their extra day off?

Thankful Thursday - Valentine's Day Edition

Today I am thankful for all of the LOVE I have in my life,
and more importantly, the people who are responsible for that love...

• My husband. He is my true love, my soul mate, my "lobster". He loves me unconditionally. He always knows the right things to say to lift my spirits no matter what my mood. Jay is never shy about complimenting me. With him I always feel beautiful and sexy, even when I first wake up in the morning. When he looks into my eyes, I know I am the only woman he sees. He is a hard worker, a great provider, & and an amazing father. Plus, he puts up with my crap. What more can a girl ask for???        

• My sons. I love my boys. Each one of them brings a special and unique energy to our family dynamic. I could give you a list of things I love about each one of them, but then we would be here all day because there are just so gosh darn many of them!  I love each one of them for many different reasons, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. They brighten up each and every one of my days and fill up my heart with more love than I ever imagined possible.

• My baby girl. I've always dreamed of having a little girl. Having M in my life has more than exceeded any expectations I had before she was born. She is so sweet, and silly and loving, she is just a pleasure to be around all the time. She always makes me smile. When my mom passed away I didn't think anything could ever fill the void she left behind, but having a little girl of my own has definitely helped to close that gap. I know the odds of having a girl were not in our favor, and I am so thankful that God blessed us with this amazing gift.

• Dear old dad. There is a saying about silver linings... my relationship with my father is the silver lining in the cloud of my mother's passing. We have always had a good relationship, but we have grown so much closer in the fifteen years since my mom has been gone. My dad is my rock. He is always there for my husband and I, and he is a wonderful grandfather to our children. We are all so lucky to have him in our lives. He will be spending a large portion of time out of state when he retires, and I am really not sure how we are going to get by without him. For now I will just be grateful for the time we spend together.

• My one and only big sister. Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be like my sister. She has taught me everything I know about fashion, hair & make-up. When I was a teenager she took me drinking, and showed me how to dance. She has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. She has done her best to step in and offer the guidance she feels my mom would've given. When my ex bailed on me, it was my sister who held my hand and wiped my tears as I brought R into this world. We have been through many things together, some good and some bad. We are both stronger because of those things, and because we have each other. 

• Last but certainly not least, my very best friend. I met her when I was just 5 years old. We were in the same first grade class, and have been friends ever since. For thirty years she has been there for me. Together we have celebrated countless milestones and shared many heartaches. She has picked me up when I was at my lowest, and flown with me at my highest points. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself - we often joke that we share a brain. Most people search a lifetime for their soul mate. I consider myself very lucky, because I have two.  

She said YES!!!

Four years ago today my love left me speechless for the first time since we'd met. He took me totally by surprise when he asked me to marry him. It's still hard for me to believe that it was four years ago, so many wonderful things have happened for us in such a short period of time.
Tonight we will go back to the place where he asked me the most important question he would ever ask... 

and we will celebrate Valentine's day, each other, and the wonderful life we share together.

Since Valentine's day was a Saturday that year, we knew we would never get a sitter. Jay's parents are still head over heals in love, so they were going on a date, and my dad was taking his girlfriend out to celebrate. Since we haven't found a babysitter yet who candle all 4 boys, we decided to make plans for Thursday, when my dad could watch R and the boys would be with their mom.

Jay made reservations for Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. We had made a deal that we wouldn't exchange gifts since we were about to go to contract on the house, and we were going out for this fancy dinner. All I asked for was a small box of Godiva chocolates (Yum-O!!!). I wasn't feeling well at all that day, I was so miserable. I tried to make the best of it at dinner, but my tummy was no good. Poor Jay, all I could think of the whole time at dinner was that I had only seen a card in his hand. I was furious because I thought for sure he had bought me a gift card, and now I didn't have a gift for him -
and where were my Godiva chocolates??? 

After dinner he gave me the card. I was feeling a little less guilty when I realized that there was no gift card inside. As I started to read the card I realized, this was my gift. You see, Jay isn't so good with words, and his handwriting is atrocious! He painstakingly typed multiple paragraphs about how much I meant to him and his boys. He even made it fancy by cutting out the paragraphs with his mom's scrap booking sheers! Tears came to my eyes as I read his touching sentiments. By the time I got to the end I was shaking. I had no idea when we sat down at that table, but now I knew what was happening... When I looked up Jay was down on one knee, right there in the middle of the restaurant, 

and he asked me to be his wife!  

Of course I said YES!!!

When we got out to the car after dinner Jay told me to pop open the glove compartment. What was in there??? You guessed it, MY GODIVA CHOCOLATES!!! Who's better than this guy???

We made a few stops on the way home... my best friend's house, my sister's, my dad's...

 It really was an amazing and surreal night. Sometimes I still can't believe it happened. 

I'm so lucky to have found my soul mate.

Since Jay and I met there have been a few days that I would classify as the best days of my life, and this day was definitely one of them. Truth be told, every day I spend with Jay is the best day. 

There is great comfort in knowing that you will wake up every day next to your best friend, 

and that no matter what that day brings, you won't be facing it alone.

Marriage really is a compromise, a give and take. You must make an investment in each other and keeping your relationship fresh and exciting. For me, the returns on my investment are well worth the effort. 

So tonight I am going to put on my little black dress and go out with my man. Tonight we will celebrate our love and toast to our future, and I can't think of any place else I would rather be.

"To love and be loved is the greatest gift of all" - Henri Toulouse

Our Love Story - Part 2

Our first official date was on a Wednesday night. I called my sister over to stay with R, and Jay took me to a local restaurant for dinner. I can't remember the last time I had butterflies in my stomach like that. The atmosphere was nice, the food was great, and there was no lull in the conversation at all. I was on cloud nine after that. I could not stop thinking about him, or talking about him. 

I couldn't wait to see him again.

We started seeing each other a couple of times a week. A few weeks passed and he asked me to be his girlfriend... Did grown-ups do that? I don't know, but I thought it was the cutest & sweetest thing ever! About a week after he asked me to "go steady", we were out at the movies. We went to see Transformers, and I will remember this date forever. We were sitting there in the dark, holding hands, and I was leaned up against his chest. I don't think I've ever felt so safe. I remembering closing my eyes and thinking "I could see myself still sitting here 30 years from now", and that's how I knew I had fallen in love with him. The only thing left was for me to meet his boys.

The following week I met B for the first time. Since he was the oldest (7 at the time), we knew he was going to have the hardest time. We took him to a Yankee game with some of Jay's friends, this way we would have a buffer. I think it went as well as could be expected. He was shy, nervous, a little stand-offish... and rightfully so. Rome wasn't built in a day, so we knew it would take some time.  I'm telling you about this night, because this was also the night we said I love you to each other for the first time.

It was July 18, 2007.

Little did I know that on this date, exactly 3 years later, I would marry this amazing man. 

Eventually I met Jay's other two boys, and we started spending time together on the weekends. Incorporating our families took a little work, but aside from that I think our relationship progressed like any other. We started house-hunting at the end of 2008. I knew I wanted to be with Jay for the rest of my life, so I wasn't at all nervous about buying a house together. I knew my father was less than thrilled with us living together before we were married, or even engaged, but I was going to do it anyway. By the first week in February of 2009, we had an accepted offer on our home.

What comes next is one of my favorite parts of the story... but I will save that for tomorrow :)

Snowed In

It was a little hairy here this weekend. In the post-Sandy world we live in here on the east coast, tensions were high with all the talk of winter storm Nemo. As usual, weather reports gave conflicting accounts of how much of the white stuff would actually fall, and the media hyped up the power company's incompetence - escalating fear of living without power for extended periods of time, again. People were in a panic, gas lines returned... Friday was not a fun day here, at all.

Hope all of you in the Northeast fared well with Nemo.

When all was said and done, we only ended up with 10 inches where I live. It was an inconvenience, and definitely dangerous. I was a nervous wreck knowing Jay was out driving in it for work. Our friends to the east of us got almost 3 feet of snow!!! They are still snowed in ... no plows in sight! 

The biggest bummer of the weekend was that we didn't get to see the boys because of the snow. They also got almost 3 feet by their house, and the roads in their county were almost impassable... so Jay wasn't able to pick them up. Poor R was crying all weekend over it.

He had to build his snowman all by himself :(

Luckily we were able to get out for a bit yesterday. We finally bought tile for our basement! Almost four months after Hurricane Sandy, and repairs will finally begin this week. Better late than never I guess. Jay is on vacation, so this will be his only opportunity to get it done.

Taking care of a 15 month old is not conducive to construction!

I am super excited that Jay will be home all week with us. Valentine's week is a big week for us (stayed tuned for Our Love Story- Part 2), so I'm looking forward to spending a lot of quality time together, especially having the entire family together for the weekend.

I would love to hear your plans for Valentine's day. Anyone doing anything creative or super romantic?