I was taking my typical thrice daily walk to check my mailbox when I just so happened to catch a glimpse of something, or someone, in the display glass in the hallway. This person seemed familiar to me, although I didn't quite recognize her. She looked kinda like me, only thinner! and she had toned-ish looking legs! and a spring in her step!!! "Who could that girl be?"
I think a lot of women deal with this, especially if you have struggled with weight issues for a long time (or you know, FOREVER). I don't see myself in the mirror the way other people see me. A lot of the time, I still see the old me.
Don't get me wrong, in my conscious brain I know I've lost weight. I also know I look better and healthier now than I did before but... when you are overweight for a decent portion of your life, when you use food to cope with your emotions - the inner fat girl does not just politely back out the door when you tell her it's time to go.
She hangs around, nagging at your subconscious, rearing her ugly head at you from time to time.
I think sometimes it can be a good thing. Sometimes you need a reminder of where you came from to kick your butt in gear, and sometimes you just need to indulge - and believe me, she's there for that too!
However, sometimes she is there to mock you and play games with your head.
Some days you just can't see past the inner fat girl in the mirror, no matter how hard you try.
For me, today was not one of those days. For the first time in a long time I walked past that glass and caught a glimpse of what I've been working so hard for. I saw someone who looked strong and happy. It doesn't happen every day, because all you ladies know we are far too critical of ourselves and our bodies, but today I actually liked what I saw. Today I was proud of what I saw.
Today I had a non-scale victory!
I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied, but I'm also not necessarily sure that's a bad thing. I think it's good to have new goals and aspirations to keep us moving forward. I'd like to see how far I