I've seen this a lot lately, with Valentine's Day coming, and I love the idea. I could tell our story over and over again, because sometimes I still can't believe it finally happened to me. I also think this is a great way to document our meeting in my own words for Baby M. So here goes....
This is the story of how I met my "Lobster"...
I got a phone call from a friend of mine. She was out with her husband at a retirement party, and there was another cop from his precinct there who they were talking to - "He's cute!" she says, "and he's divorced... can I give him your number"? In spite of the fact that the last time she had tried to fix me up with someone it was a total disaster, I thought to myself, "what do I have to lose?"
So I told her to give him my number, and kinda forgot about it.
*This would be a good time for some brief background on my relationship with R's dad. I will try to keep it brief. I met him in 8th grade. We dated until my senior year of high school. He was my first love, and I really thought we would be together forever. Of course, we weren't. Skip ahead five years - now I'm done with college, working full time, loving my life. We ran in to each other at a party, and the rest was history... or not. Five years after we got back together, I got pregnant with R. It was not planned, but I was under the impression that we would get married eventually, so I was happy. I had always wanted to be a mom, so I was on board. He, on the other hand, couldn't handle it. I came to find out later that he had been cheating on since before R was conceived. After denying it for a while, he left me for the other woman for good when I was 5 months preggo with R.
He was gone, and R & I were on our own. *
He was gone, and R & I were on our own. *
Anyway, back to my "Lobster"...
I hadn't been feeling well for a few days, but decided to take R out for a walk, hoping the fresh air would do me some good. While we were out walking, my phone rang. It was the guy my friend gave my number to! I couldn't believe he actually called! Come to find out, his name is Jay. At this point, he is in the middle of getting divorced, and has 3 boys, ages 7, 3 and 1. We had a really nice chat and I agreed to meet him at a local diner that Saturday night. Little did I know, the man upstairs had other plans.
I still wasn't feeling well, and I had started to swell in my hands, feet and legs. It was getting worse by the minute. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital! I had to cancel our date :(
I was there for a week and it was the longest week of my life. I was literally having panic attacks daily from being away from R, who was only 20 months old at the time. They never did figure out what was wrong with me - they called it virus of unknown origin. I was unable to work for a month after, and was on breathing treatments for quite some time. Needless to say, dating was the last thing on my mind.
A couple of months went by and I was finally starting to feel like myself again. I was getting together with a bunch of friends at a local bar, and the couple who had given Jay my number were also going to be there, so I decided to send Jay a text and see if he could make it. I admit, I took the easy way out. I was too nervous to call him after all that time had passed, so I sent him a text message instead. I couldn't believe it when he answered! He was going to come!!! I literally invited every person I knew.
I was SO nervous!
It must have taken me 3 days to pick out an outfit. Then I changed my clothes at least 5 times before I left the house. Thank goodness my sister agreed to babysit, because I definitely needed her fashion advice and brutally honest critique before I left the house. I remember walking in to that bar that night so vividly in my mind. That night changed my life forever. Now, I need to preface my next statement by saying I am not a shallow person, looks are definitely not at the top of my list of important qualities. However, for some reason, I was picturing Jay a certain way based on the sound of his voice, and for whatever reason, the picture wasn't pretty. Maybe my subconscious was trying to keep my expectations low so I wouldn't be disappointed. Who knows?! Anyway, I remember thinking as I walked in
"Oh thank goodness, he's SO CUTE!!!"
His personality definitely matched his good looks. He was so sweet, polite and chivalrous. Of course we started talking about our children right away, and we really hit it off. At the end of the night, he offered to drive me home. I know my bestie was nervous about me leaving with him, but I just had this feeling... like I had known him forever. He drove me home in what has been lovingly referred to since that night as his "little blue spaceship", or Toyota Prius, lol. I was so fascinated by the workings of the hybrid, plus he was concerned about the environment! That definitely scored him some points! When we got to my house, he told me he wanted to kiss me, but he was too nervous... so I kissed him instead. I'm usually not like that, but something in my gut was telling me this was right.
We made plans to see each other later that week, and said good night.
... and just like that, my world came alive again. After almost 3 years of depression, fear of being alone forever, and living my life only for my son - my world was filled with so much color and hope. I don't really believe in love at first sight per say,
but something was definitely going on here... and I couldn't wait to see him again.
To be continued....