Thursday, April 4, 2013

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

So, I know Thursday is usually all about being thankful, but I'm a little bummed out today and I need to vent. This may be just a blended family thing, but maybe you can still relate.

Last week we had a great week with my step-boys. I' m not going to lie and say it was all rainbows and roses. Let's face it, 5 kids is a lot of work. The boys are great together on weekends, and even at the beginning of a long stay - but by the end of a full week they are really getting on each other's nerves. With that being said, we still had a great time.
We played outside, we played inside, we watched movies, we cooked, we baked.
They played with their sister, A LOT!!!
We spent lots of time together as a family, which was great.

WE HAD 7 WHOLE DAYS TOGETHER!
They went back to their mom's on Good Friday
...and then they forgot about us :(

On Easter Sunday we tried to call and text B, and got no response.
We iMessaged A & D and tried to face time with them, and still got nothing. 
This happens almost every time we try to get in touch with them.

It leaves me wondering... is it just us?
Do they not miss us when we aren't together? 
Do all step-families go through something like this?

We don't have a particularly good relationship with their mom, so she doesn't encourage them to call their dad. He will text her and ask for the boys to call us, and many times she blows that off too. It makes me feel badly for my hubs that they don't want to call on their own. It also hurts me a bit that they don't want to check in to see how their sister is doing. I know they are still young. They are probably just preoccupied with having fun and doing little boy things. I feel like B has less of an excuse at almost 14 years old. Would it be different if they were girls? I try to remind myself that they didn't ask to call their mom at all either, for the entire week they were with us. 
I try to remind myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder,
and it doesn't necessarily matter if we don't touch base during the week
because we always have good quality time on the weekends. But...

I just can't shake this feeling that we are loosing them... that the older they get, the less they are going to want to be with us. That the more involved they get with school and sports (hopefully their mom stays in this place long enough for them to become to invested), the less willing they will be to spend a weekend away from it all. I know this is the nature of the beast with all children as they grow, that they all get to a point that they would rather be with their friends than their parents.
I was a teenager not too long ago, and I totally remember that feeling of not wanting to be anywhere near my parents -  but I feel that the physical distance (36 miles/1 hour each way) between us is going to make it that much harder for us to maintain the quality family time we hold so dear. It is true for so many things in life, but I don't want it to be this way with our boys.
I want to know that they miss us every second of every day like we miss them.
 I don't want it to be out of sight, out of mind... but it seems that it is.   

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